So, I am on a diet. This basically means I still eat what I want; I just fell guilty shortly after. The problem stems from how food makes me feel. I love food.
I was watching Hook the other day. I noticed the look on the two kids faces when their dad Peter Pan comes to save them. That is roughly the feeling I get walking into a Chipotle. I have the same feelings of happiness that an eight year-old does when his estranged father comes literally flying into defeat a mass murderer with a sword made of gold. This is the emotional connection to food I am fighting here people.
That is all for now. Just thought I would get that out in the open.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
IT CAME FROM SKY MALL - I
Some things in life are indeed free. I am of course referring to the Sky Mall catalog. Perfectly free, with your $400 plane ticket. Regardless, you can take this home with you after your flight completely gratis. I actually did. And from this is our first installment of, IT CAME FROM SKY MALL.
Most things in SKY MALL are charming, whimsical items that will not necessarily get you killed. This item will not only get you killed it will get you good and killed. I give you the PASSENGER SEAT OFFICE:
Now there is one caveat. It does say in faint red type that this is not for use while driving. But let's delve into the market they are selling here:
1) A person who's GPS, iPOD, cell phone, are just not enough accoutrement to their driving experience. They now need a filing system, computer, and printer. I thought this is what offices were invented for. That and looking up articles on silly gadgets sold by Sky Mall.
2) You need a busy person. Homegirl is not only talking on the phone, typing, and printing. She is collating! If she had any more hands she would find something to tickle. A real go getter I am sure she is relaying on the phone "Sorry Margaret, I would love to come for lunch but I am doing EVERYTHING right now. Maybe later when I'm only doing a few things." But please note that she is not driving for that would be unreasonable in this setting.
3) The person is shopping from Sky Mall. So the above picture no matter how absurd looks absolutely plausible when you're shopping at a cruising altitude.
Most things in SKY MALL are charming, whimsical items that will not necessarily get you killed. This item will not only get you killed it will get you good and killed. I give you the PASSENGER SEAT OFFICE:
 |
| For when texting just isn't distracting enough. |
1) A person who's GPS, iPOD, cell phone, are just not enough accoutrement to their driving experience. They now need a filing system, computer, and printer. I thought this is what offices were invented for. That and looking up articles on silly gadgets sold by Sky Mall.
2) You need a busy person. Homegirl is not only talking on the phone, typing, and printing. She is collating! If she had any more hands she would find something to tickle. A real go getter I am sure she is relaying on the phone "Sorry Margaret, I would love to come for lunch but I am doing EVERYTHING right now. Maybe later when I'm only doing a few things." But please note that she is not driving for that would be unreasonable in this setting.
3) The person is shopping from Sky Mall. So the above picture no matter how absurd looks absolutely plausible when you're shopping at a cruising altitude.
Sherrill Rant
Things are pretty bad in Dodger land. The owners are in the middle of a heated divorce. Manny Ramirez is hurt, again. They have lost six straight and are now looking up at the top of the NL West from fourth place. If all that weren't enough. They still pay George Sherrill to come in a pitch for them. What was lost in last nights debacle is that Sherrill was the one that gave up a two run double in the ninth. He always gives up runs. That is just what he does. They could have done a lot better signing a leper to a $10 contract. Their ERA would be similar and you wouldn't have to look at a silly goatee.
In this recession how can anyone pick up a paycheck for such ineptitude. You don't see me going into my coworkers offices and just taking dumps. That's what Sherrill does. He goes out there and just poops. Then Torre has to go out and clean up after him. Its just nauseating. Well I don't blame Torre, the front office, or the like. I blame the parents. How people could raise such a lack of production is just beyond me. So please parents read to your children. If you don't they will grow up to pitch like George Sherrill.
In this recession how can anyone pick up a paycheck for such ineptitude. You don't see me going into my coworkers offices and just taking dumps. That's what Sherrill does. He goes out there and just poops. Then Torre has to go out and clean up after him. Its just nauseating. Well I don't blame Torre, the front office, or the like. I blame the parents. How people could raise such a lack of production is just beyond me. So please parents read to your children. If you don't they will grow up to pitch like George Sherrill.
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