Perspective

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Michael Jackson treated 4 year-olds like bowling balls. Then he made them get on a giraffe and call him Scooby. Let's put this shit in perspective.

I don't know when the "King of Pop" turned into Mother Teresa but hundreds paying homage to his walk-of-fame star and standing hours outside UCLA medical center is just this side of lame. I'm not saying it is perverse. I'm just saying it is without warrant.

My life is too short to have a wake for someone I never met and at best could have been a nice guy and at worse could have had sex with children. I mean I'm sad the music died, but seriously, perspective people. Can we wikipedia for just a second to clarify that "King of Pop" is just a fictional title? We do know there is no real kingdom, right folks? It means he was a genius at making songs and dancing and stuff.

Think about this. He most likely, and when I say most likely its the same as OJ Simpson was "most likely" a murder so its a "most likely" that means the same as "is," with 100% certainty, was a child molester.

He slept with children in his bed and went on national TV and said he felt pretty normal about it, because that's how you "show love." He also "most likely" drank with children and "most likely" had sexual activities with them. So I'm supposed to take that knowledge and throw it out the window because he sang about a fucking mouse (Ben). Jesus Christ people! Mourn the music but lets keep the deification to a minimum.

Again I am sad the music is gone, I really am. And Michael's life did not necessitate me writing this. The reaction that you have shown necessitates this.

To the guy that had pictures of Michael in his office from 1972 and is on my TV right now: I appreciate you went to his concert when you were 15 and it blew your mind. I can't fathom that kind of experience other than probably sex and a really good cheeseburger. It must have been extreme though because you are on CNN right now paying tribute to the same man that saw the movie "The Sandlot" with his pants down and a bottle of Jergen's nearby. Meanwhile all a really good cheeseburger does is continue to be tasty, innocent children unharmed.

Play your music people. I am. I've been bumpin' that mouse song for hours now. I'm just saying do we need to talk about it further than that? Do we need to cry for a man that believed the pinnacle of beauty was to look like Skeletor? I will pour one out for MJ, blast his hits, and leave it at that. You should too.

Spend more time with people in your life that make a real difference. Use the hours you would have taken to go sit at Neverland Ranch for some real good. Macaulay Culkin would have wanted it that way after all.

Uncle Darrow's

Once in a while I visit an eatery that typifies passion and dedication. I recently visited Uncle Darrow's Cajun eatery and realized why I love this place. The owner Ronald and the rest of the staff just plain care.

Upon entering the establishment you are typically greeted and asked if you are visiting for your first time. If it is, be prepared for a friendly rundown of the menu and some free samples. I would recommend limiting your samples as you will want to order everything you taste.

Here is the overlying problem with Uncle Darrow's. The food is not good for a motivated person. My favorite Po' Boy is the Zeke. It is a combination of bread, fried catfish, fried shrimp, and potato salad. You see, there is no way to get any errands done after eating a sandwich like that. I recently had half a Zeke, jambalaya, and gumbo from Uncle Darrow's. I immediately went home and stared at a wall for three hours.

Normally food of this weight would be hard to get through. It can be easy to over fry or under fry and get the food all greasy. This is far from true at Uncle Darrow's. The seafood is always served hot, fresh, and crispy. My favorite side may just be their File Gumbo, a sopping concoction of shrimp, crab, and sausage with a hint of spice.

Either way I cannot recommend this place enough. I would just pencil in a nap after visiting.

Laker Bandwagon Getting Full

All Aboard

The NBA playoffs are a lot like pregnancy. You are excited at first then after nine months you just want to get it over with. The interim is spent on the couch being all gassy.

What some sports would consider the length of a regular season, the NBA considers brief enough for a post season. And here we are at the tail end of it. After 40 games in 40 nights we now have two teams vying for the trophy.

Try as ESPN might to pit this as a Kobe vs. Dwight series, the crucial battle will come down to Lamar/Ariza vs. Turkoglu/Lewis. I guess I could go on spouting statistics and predictions, but I am little irked today.

You see whenever the Lakers make it deep in the playoffs, fair weather fans come out of the woodwork to glom onto the party train. It starts innocent enough, a Laker flag here and a mention of Kobe there. Sure we can all take pride in in DJ Mbenga's disproportionately small head. And yes we can all bask in the glory of Kobe's farts. But it ain't all gravy. Being a complete dork of a fan, I watch all season and revel in both the good and the outright stinky.

Most bandwagoners fail to realize that a little over two years ago Kobe Bryant was determined to run Andrew Bynum out of town. Purple and Gold morale was at an untimely low. The Lakers looked more like the pack that ran with Del Harris then those that capped off a three peat of titles earlier in the decade. There were no tacos at the end of games. A sigh and sense of a relief were our only reward.

Then it all started to come together. That Bynum kid was alright. The Lakers got some momentum going and a playoff berth seemed inevitable. Then tragedy hit. You don't know what it feels like when your young center goes down twice, in the same month, in consecutive years, to the same team. You feel jinxed, You feel doomed.

Then like a spanish Jesus Pau came to save the day. The he ruined the party by getting dunked on frequently in the finals last year. Look, you haven't spent game after game yelling at Lamar Odom for being a no show, then applauding his immense talent, in the same game! Maybe you have witnessed Pau and his offensive prowess. But I know you bandwagoners look away when he diminishes on the defensive end. I do not. I take it all in; every basket, every tech, every 20 point blow out, every 20 point drubbing.

So please forgive me if become a little annoyed at the person on the street wearing a Laker shirt today when yesterday they didn't know when the Finals started. I'm not saying you have to wear purple everyday, just be able to name the last second-round draft pick to start a playoff game for the Lakers. That will do.

There they are folks. They range in intimidation factor from hardened criminal to IT administrative assistant. Let's have fun!