How the mighty have fallen. News came this week that Allen Iverson is contemplating a move to the Chinese Basketball Association. He would join fellow has been Stephon Marbury. All they would need would be fifty more washed up NBA stars and they might have themselves a league.
Why would an aging star that is bound for the hall of fame decide to go to a far lesser locale instead of hanging up his sneakers for good? Then again, why wouldn't he?
I have grappled with the notion of A.I. playing in China long and hard and have come to the realization that there are very good reasons he should play in China, as well as others that would make it ludicrous for him to do so.
Pro
He is a star. At least he was. It may be cliche but it is not without truth to say that aging superstars find it very hard to let go of their top playing days. A move to China could give Iverson the satisfaction of being a superstar. The fact that he would once again be adored may outweigh the fact that he would be in a far away land. His basketball acumen would be tested away from any real competition. He could then relive his glory days. For someone that has been at the very pinnacle of the sport it may be more attractive than warming the bench on a less than stellar NBA team.
Pro
He will create distance between himself and the NBA. If Allen Iverson has anything more in the tank he needs to prove it beyond these borders. His situation is proof that he has just about exhausted the patience of general mangers and owners. A year or two abroad with great results will do well for him to be accepted back into the NBA. The 35-year old better shape up soon. His legs will not take more than a couple years.
Pro
Money. The second reason behind love for anyone that plays the game. Stephon Marbury, only two years younger than Iverson, has already played a year in China and negotiated a three-year deal. Further than that, Shanxi Zhongyu, the team he plays for, will co-market Marbury’s shoe. Iverson can expect the same. Money and playing time not available to him in the states will be in abundance in China.
Pro
The competition is just right. Marbury, by all accounts, was an empty jersey his last year in Boston. He averaged only 18 minutes a game and scored close to four points a game. In his first year in China, he raised that to a staggering 22.9 points a game. He was also granted a bid to the All-Star game.
The 22 points a game are on par with Marbury’s best years. The Chinese competition is just soft enough to put a little spring into an older NBA all-star’s step.
Con
He could ruin his legacy. Allen Iverson was one of the most prolific scorers the NBA has ever seen. This jaunt to the NBA equivalent of double-A could tarnish that image. Imagine if Alex Rodriguez left MLB baseball to play in Japan. There would be no end to the talk of him petering out with a whimper.
Look at the flack that Michael Jordan received at the end of his career for not hanging it up, and he only went to Washington to play.
Con
It is not Europe. I mean this in a number of ways that are not geographical. For starters it does not have the infrastructure that European leagues have. It is a relatively new undertaking, starting in 1995, whereas leagues in Europe are more entrenched in the culture (Lega A Italy started in 1920, Liga ACB Spain started in 1956, et. al).
Also, the CBA is finding itself forced to institute a salary cap as unchecked spending has invoked fears in the leagues supporters.
Con
He will be out of the press. You will no longer hear funny jibes from Iverson about “practice” or how he is not committed to his team. He will in a sense disappear from the national spotlight. Stephon Marbury has been gone for only one year and I can barely remember what egotistical whining looks like.
Con
He will wish he hadn't. Especially come January when a contending team goes looking for a back up or even a starter to take the place of their recently fallen guard. It happens every year and it will happen again this year. That may be the one last shot Iverson has to make a difference in the NBA and he will be out in China throwing up thirty a game against guys who wouldn't make the WNBA cut.
Summation
It comes down to what is important in life: money or prestige. Iverson can hang it up today and go down as a malcontent, but a malcontent that could shoot the lights out. If he plays in China he risks being ever known as the NBA version of Willie Mays in a Met jersey. The choice is his and I can’t wait to lambaste him for whichever one he chooses.
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Around the Association FebRUary 16
Well, we are sneaking up to trade deadline time. This usually means a great deal of rumors with most, if not all, never panning out. Some years, the trade deadline buzz flat out fails to deliver. It is following that same path this year. While talk of Amare to Cleveland or Ray Allen being exiled abound, we are left with some lack luster news. The Clippers got rid of Marcus Camby for Scott Blake and Travis outlaw.
While the trade does get the Blazers a Center that isn’t currently in crutches or naked on the internet, it doesn’t lift them in the playoff picture at all. From the Clippers standpoint…I actually stopped caring mid-sentence there.
Meanwhile some teams are on the hot seat to make a trade. Boston is going through some growing pains. They seem to be a bit old or dysfunctional to challenge for the title as they are currently designed. I guess things look that way when you lose half time leads to the lowly Hornets. They are kind of like Carrie Fisher in When Harry Met Sally. You could see the inevitable aging happen right on the screen. So it is with the Celtics. With every game, they are looking more and more like a middle-aged white woman.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Do Ron-Ron
If you’re anything like me you have been waiting patiently for a blow up from Ron Artest. We were almost treated to one late last week. Ron-Ron took offense to being held up by Joey Graham and almost socked his face.
The above clip is particularly delightful for a number of reasons. My favorites are as follows:
Joel Myers reaction of “ooo” when Artest spun and fired the haymaker is priceless. In that instant he was really saying. “No Ron, for the love of god they will suspend you for the entire season!”
But what is magical is the debate between Stu Lantz, the color commentator for the Lakers and Joel Myers on why there was a technical. When Myers fails to illustrate that almost hitting someone with a closed fist isn’t enough, they decide it’s the playful shove of the face that did it in the end.
Either way I am now glued to the TV for every game, as I am sure Artest is one ticky-tack foul away from going mailman on everyone.
The above clip is particularly delightful for a number of reasons. My favorites are as follows:
Joel Myers reaction of “ooo” when Artest spun and fired the haymaker is priceless. In that instant he was really saying. “No Ron, for the love of god they will suspend you for the entire season!”
But what is magical is the debate between Stu Lantz, the color commentator for the Lakers and Joel Myers on why there was a technical. When Myers fails to illustrate that almost hitting someone with a closed fist isn’t enough, they decide it’s the playful shove of the face that did it in the end.
Either way I am now glued to the TV for every game, as I am sure Artest is one ticky-tack foul away from going mailman on everyone.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Around the Association - Jan 25th
All-Stars
Proving once again that the general populace can be trusted with not even the slightest of responsibilities, Allen Iverson was voted into the Eastern Conference All-Stars. The NBA did side step embarrassment when Tracy McGrady was finally outpaced in voting. This did not deter the public at large from voting in Iverson as a starter in this year’s festivities. Granted the East is this year’s equivalent of the short yellow bus, but there are more deserving guards in the Association.
Iverson has played a grand total of 19 games. Those 19 games were not grand or spectacular. Allen Iverson is a mediocre player attempting 14 shots a night. What happened to the glory days of chucking up 25-30 a game? Diminished skills are not the only reason he should be watching from home February 14th. Karma should have a say as well. He mentally and physically quit on the Grizzlies forcing them to trade him away. Time and again this type of action gets rewarded in sports. Iverson gets a homecoming to the team that started his career, as well as an undeserved All-Star bid.
Blake Griffin
Blake had successful knee surgery which will keep him resting 4-6 months. He hopes to be back and training by summer. This should give him ample time to get well enough to re-injure himself before the start of the 2010-2011 season.
Dunks
This week, the lineup for the Slam Dunk contest was finalized. It is by far the worst lineup to date. All participants can dunk with creativity I am sure. But there is not a celebrity amongst them. Nate Robinson will return, again. It was tremendous to see what he did the first and second times around. But I get it now. You’re small. You dunk. Congratulations!
In what reeks of desperation, the NBA will have a dunk off between Eric Gordon and DeMar DeRozan for the final dunk spot. Really, a play-in game for the Dunk Contest. How has the play-in idea worked for the NCAA?
Proving once again that the general populace can be trusted with not even the slightest of responsibilities, Allen Iverson was voted into the Eastern Conference All-Stars. The NBA did side step embarrassment when Tracy McGrady was finally outpaced in voting. This did not deter the public at large from voting in Iverson as a starter in this year’s festivities. Granted the East is this year’s equivalent of the short yellow bus, but there are more deserving guards in the Association.
Iverson has played a grand total of 19 games. Those 19 games were not grand or spectacular. Allen Iverson is a mediocre player attempting 14 shots a night. What happened to the glory days of chucking up 25-30 a game? Diminished skills are not the only reason he should be watching from home February 14th. Karma should have a say as well. He mentally and physically quit on the Grizzlies forcing them to trade him away. Time and again this type of action gets rewarded in sports. Iverson gets a homecoming to the team that started his career, as well as an undeserved All-Star bid.
Blake Griffin
Blake had successful knee surgery which will keep him resting 4-6 months. He hopes to be back and training by summer. This should give him ample time to get well enough to re-injure himself before the start of the 2010-2011 season.
Dunks
This week, the lineup for the Slam Dunk contest was finalized. It is by far the worst lineup to date. All participants can dunk with creativity I am sure. But there is not a celebrity amongst them. Nate Robinson will return, again. It was tremendous to see what he did the first and second times around. But I get it now. You’re small. You dunk. Congratulations!
In what reeks of desperation, the NBA will have a dunk off between Eric Gordon and DeMar DeRozan for the final dunk spot. Really, a play-in game for the Dunk Contest. How has the play-in idea worked for the NCAA?
Monday, January 4, 2010
Agent Zero Saga
The truth finally came out about the Gilbert Arenas saga. He is a prop comic. Agent Zero’s side of the story is that he was joking around with Javaris Crittenton when he invited him to choose one of three guns owned by Gilbert Arenas. Here are some questions I need answered:
Why three guns? Plaxico Buress saw fit to shoot himself in the leg with one gun. I am sure that Arenas could have done enough joke telling with one, maybe two guns. For me, three was a little hacky. Why not wear rainbow suspenders at that point.
Why have guns in the locker room? His statement is that he wanted to keep his four guns away from his children. For this reason, he moved only three of them to the locker room in D.C. I can only speculate that he kept a gun at his home in case he wanted to pull out any gun toting humor within the confines of his domicile.
Why resort to gun possession as a means to demean Crittenton? I for one could have seen a very brief but jarring exchange where Arenas, who allegedly welched on a bet, resorts to NBA name-calling. Crittenton does average 13 minutes and 5 points per game on his very short career.
This is a very humorous scenario where one very rich egomaniac bought a gun one day. Then he bought another, then another, then another. He found himself bored to death with not being able to use the damn things so he did the next best thing. He showed them off. If I know David Stern like I know I do, this will be the last thing he shows in a locker room for quite a while.
Why three guns? Plaxico Buress saw fit to shoot himself in the leg with one gun. I am sure that Arenas could have done enough joke telling with one, maybe two guns. For me, three was a little hacky. Why not wear rainbow suspenders at that point.
Why have guns in the locker room? His statement is that he wanted to keep his four guns away from his children. For this reason, he moved only three of them to the locker room in D.C. I can only speculate that he kept a gun at his home in case he wanted to pull out any gun toting humor within the confines of his domicile.
Why resort to gun possession as a means to demean Crittenton? I for one could have seen a very brief but jarring exchange where Arenas, who allegedly welched on a bet, resorts to NBA name-calling. Crittenton does average 13 minutes and 5 points per game on his very short career.
This is a very humorous scenario where one very rich egomaniac bought a gun one day. Then he bought another, then another, then another. He found himself bored to death with not being able to use the damn things so he did the next best thing. He showed them off. If I know David Stern like I know I do, this will be the last thing he shows in a locker room for quite a while.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Around the Association - December 17th
Kobe is playing with stomach aches and broken fingers. Referees are missing blatant calls and calling ones that don’t exist. It must be another week in the NBA.
Kobe
Kobe had 42 points against the Bulls Tuesday night - not very impressive for a man with his skill set. What is astonishing is that he did it with a fractured finger on his shooting hand. What is even more remarkable is that he was having er, um, digestive problems all day. I remember I ate a bad calzone once. I immediately lost five pounds, shook uncontrollably, and slept for a week. Kobe Bryant decided to drop 40 points on the Bulls while his stomach had the taco gurgles. Oh the next day he hit the game winner against the Bucks. I am definitely underachieving in life.
Hall-of-Fame
Jerry Colangelo, Naismith's newly elected chairman of the board is toying with the notion of allowing the fans and media to have a say in who makes it into the Basketball Hall-of-Fame. He said the fans would be “involved,” which many are hoping means the results would be made public much like the NBA and MLB do. What makes me cringe is having the fans actually have even a modicum of say in who makes it into the Hall. These are the people that are voting Tracy McGrady into 2nd place in All-Star voting this year. This just in, T-Mac has not played at all this season.
Creamsicles
Kevin Durant unveiled his new line of Basketball shoes in a game against Dallas Wednesday night. They look as if Nike went to Nerf and said gives us the first thing that comes to mind. I tried to watch the game but between Durant bricking shots and the whole team wearing these atrocities my eyes stopped working for two hours. I didn’t go blind necessarily. My eyes just refused to capture the images on the screen. It was actually the only pleasant part of the game.
Kobe
Kobe had 42 points against the Bulls Tuesday night - not very impressive for a man with his skill set. What is astonishing is that he did it with a fractured finger on his shooting hand. What is even more remarkable is that he was having er, um, digestive problems all day. I remember I ate a bad calzone once. I immediately lost five pounds, shook uncontrollably, and slept for a week. Kobe Bryant decided to drop 40 points on the Bulls while his stomach had the taco gurgles. Oh the next day he hit the game winner against the Bucks. I am definitely underachieving in life.
Hall-of-Fame
Jerry Colangelo, Naismith's newly elected chairman of the board is toying with the notion of allowing the fans and media to have a say in who makes it into the Basketball Hall-of-Fame. He said the fans would be “involved,” which many are hoping means the results would be made public much like the NBA and MLB do. What makes me cringe is having the fans actually have even a modicum of say in who makes it into the Hall. These are the people that are voting Tracy McGrady into 2nd place in All-Star voting this year. This just in, T-Mac has not played at all this season.
Creamsicles
Kevin Durant unveiled his new line of Basketball shoes in a game against Dallas Wednesday night. They look as if Nike went to Nerf and said gives us the first thing that comes to mind. I tried to watch the game but between Durant bricking shots and the whole team wearing these atrocities my eyes stopped working for two hours. I didn’t go blind necessarily. My eyes just refused to capture the images on the screen. It was actually the only pleasant part of the game.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Always Interesting
When certain athletes take to the podium they excite well beyond any news conference should. Allen Iverson is one of those athletes. Possibly outdoing his “practice” rant, Allen Iverson openly wept at the prospect of becoming a 76er yet again. He is happy. Philadelphia wants him back. Win-Win, Case closed right?
This might be the case if Iverson were a different person, but he is not. You can be assured; A.I. will take 25 shots a night and completely forget that there is a specific offense in place. He will force one on one situations multiple times a game. The coaching staff will boil and this will only be the start.
Once Lou Williams comes back from a broken jaw, the decision by Eddie Jordan to bench or start Iverson will commence. That is when we will find whether Iverson has truly changed or not.
I haven’t been the biggest Shaquille O’Neal supporter but his recent stint with the Cavs illustrates how the aging athlete should act. He accepts his role as role player to LeBron James. Iverson should realize that his best days are behind him and he should play for team first. It may be something he has never done but it is the only way he stretches this one year contract into another payday. My favorite quote from the day was “I want to retire here.” Well you may have to buddy. No NBA team wants a former All Star that causes headaches instead of producing wins.
This might be the case if Iverson were a different person, but he is not. You can be assured; A.I. will take 25 shots a night and completely forget that there is a specific offense in place. He will force one on one situations multiple times a game. The coaching staff will boil and this will only be the start.
Once Lou Williams comes back from a broken jaw, the decision by Eddie Jordan to bench or start Iverson will commence. That is when we will find whether Iverson has truly changed or not.
I haven’t been the biggest Shaquille O’Neal supporter but his recent stint with the Cavs illustrates how the aging athlete should act. He accepts his role as role player to LeBron James. Iverson should realize that his best days are behind him and he should play for team first. It may be something he has never done but it is the only way he stretches this one year contract into another payday. My favorite quote from the day was “I want to retire here.” Well you may have to buddy. No NBA team wants a former All Star that causes headaches instead of producing wins.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Around the Association
Iverson
Sources reported that the Sixers and Allen Iverson met for two hours on Monday. I’m still not sure what took two hours. Iverson is looking for a starting job and the Sixers are looking for anything to spark life into their 5 and 12 team. This is a no-brainer. Allow Iverson to come back and end his career where it all began and sell a couple more jerseys while their at it.
Nets
The New Jersey Nets are staring history straight in the face. Their historic march to the worst team in the NBA is well on the way. Their first real test is Wednesday against the formidable Dallas Mavericks. This will be the first test of their ineptitude. A loss Wednesday would clinch the worst start in history at 0-18. After that, all that remains is eight. That is how many wins they must finish with to clinch the worst overall season, surpassing the 9-73, 1972-73 76ers. Their magic number is 57.
Vandeweghe
Rumor has it that GM Kiki Vandeweghe will take over the head coaching job for the New Jersey Nets. Del Harris will be a coach alongside Vandeweghe who has limited bench experience. This begs the question, why not just have Del Harris as the head coach. It makes it a lot easier to fire the head coach when he is not also the general manager. The Nets should take this lesson from the Knicks during the less than desirable Isaiah Thomas era.
Wallace Fined
While it is not news when Rasheed Wallace gets a tech, it may be news when I out and out agree with him. Wallace received a fine for his “verbal abuse” of referees after the Toronto game on Friday night. His frustration with flopping and ticky-tack fouls happens to also be the annoyance of all that watch NBA games. The NBA needs to allow for a tad more emotion than is allowed. You have grown men playing a physical sport. Things are meant to get heated. That’s when the sport is at its best. Officials are too quick with the whistles. Sadly, I don’t see a revolution starting with a Rasheed Wallace sound bite.
Sources reported that the Sixers and Allen Iverson met for two hours on Monday. I’m still not sure what took two hours. Iverson is looking for a starting job and the Sixers are looking for anything to spark life into their 5 and 12 team. This is a no-brainer. Allow Iverson to come back and end his career where it all began and sell a couple more jerseys while their at it.
Nets
The New Jersey Nets are staring history straight in the face. Their historic march to the worst team in the NBA is well on the way. Their first real test is Wednesday against the formidable Dallas Mavericks. This will be the first test of their ineptitude. A loss Wednesday would clinch the worst start in history at 0-18. After that, all that remains is eight. That is how many wins they must finish with to clinch the worst overall season, surpassing the 9-73, 1972-73 76ers. Their magic number is 57.
Vandeweghe
Rumor has it that GM Kiki Vandeweghe will take over the head coaching job for the New Jersey Nets. Del Harris will be a coach alongside Vandeweghe who has limited bench experience. This begs the question, why not just have Del Harris as the head coach. It makes it a lot easier to fire the head coach when he is not also the general manager. The Nets should take this lesson from the Knicks during the less than desirable Isaiah Thomas era.
Wallace Fined
While it is not news when Rasheed Wallace gets a tech, it may be news when I out and out agree with him. Wallace received a fine for his “verbal abuse” of referees after the Toronto game on Friday night. His frustration with flopping and ticky-tack fouls happens to also be the annoyance of all that watch NBA games. The NBA needs to allow for a tad more emotion than is allowed. You have grown men playing a physical sport. Things are meant to get heated. That’s when the sport is at its best. Officials are too quick with the whistles. Sadly, I don’t see a revolution starting with a Rasheed Wallace sound bite.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Around the Association
Iverson is acting up, the Clippers and Knicks are horrible, and Stephen Jackson is pouting. Things are pretty normal in the NBA this week.
Lebron
One thing we can count on this season is that pundits, commentators, announcers, and Craig Sager will all hit us over the head with the fact that the 2010 class of free agents is the greatest class of all freaking time. One free agent in particular will be under a microscope. LeBron James will be dissected for any hints of his intentions to flee Cleveland.
This past weekend, King James claimed that he will choose his next team based on their chance of winning. I would think this would preclude the Knicks from the discussion but you never know. Sure they will have the cap space for a generous offer but there are no guarantees that any supporting cast would like to join LeBron in one of the two worst teams in the NBA.
Clippers
This brings me to the end all be all of horrible franchises. The Clippers started off the season with evidence that god does not like them. This came in the form of injury to their latest first round pick Blake Griffin. Things looked promising when they were able to cap off three consecutive wins. That all came to a halt on Monday night when they were pummeled, at home, to the Hornets, by 28 points. On paper the Clippers look like a seven or eight seed. But it’s hard to win when you are pre-ordained to be miserable by a higher power.
Stephen Jackson
In his latest effort to get traded, Stephen Jackson’s agent Mark Stevens made public attacks on Warriors head coach Don Nelson and questioned his trustworthiness. It seems that Jackson has had about enough of the Warriors and really wants to leave. He probably could have helped himself out by not signing a three year $28 million contract. If things have gone south, the best way to get what you want is not to scream and shout like…wait, no that is precisely how you get what you want in the NBA. Look for Jackson to be traded shortly.
Lebron
One thing we can count on this season is that pundits, commentators, announcers, and Craig Sager will all hit us over the head with the fact that the 2010 class of free agents is the greatest class of all freaking time. One free agent in particular will be under a microscope. LeBron James will be dissected for any hints of his intentions to flee Cleveland.
This past weekend, King James claimed that he will choose his next team based on their chance of winning. I would think this would preclude the Knicks from the discussion but you never know. Sure they will have the cap space for a generous offer but there are no guarantees that any supporting cast would like to join LeBron in one of the two worst teams in the NBA.
Clippers
This brings me to the end all be all of horrible franchises. The Clippers started off the season with evidence that god does not like them. This came in the form of injury to their latest first round pick Blake Griffin. Things looked promising when they were able to cap off three consecutive wins. That all came to a halt on Monday night when they were pummeled, at home, to the Hornets, by 28 points. On paper the Clippers look like a seven or eight seed. But it’s hard to win when you are pre-ordained to be miserable by a higher power.
Stephen Jackson
In his latest effort to get traded, Stephen Jackson’s agent Mark Stevens made public attacks on Warriors head coach Don Nelson and questioned his trustworthiness. It seems that Jackson has had about enough of the Warriors and really wants to leave. He probably could have helped himself out by not signing a three year $28 million contract. If things have gone south, the best way to get what you want is not to scream and shout like…wait, no that is precisely how you get what you want in the NBA. Look for Jackson to be traded shortly.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Laker Bandwagon Getting Full
All Aboard
There they are folks. They range in intimidation factor from hardened criminal to IT administrative assistant. Let's have fun!
The NBA playoffs are a lot like pregnancy. You are excited at first then after nine months you just want to get it over with. The interim is spent on the couch being all gassy.
What some sports would consider the length of a regular season, the NBA considers brief enough for a post season. And here we are at the tail end of it. After 40 games in 40 nights we now have two teams vying for the trophy.
Try as ESPN might to pit this as a Kobe vs. Dwight series, the crucial battle will come down to Lamar/Ariza vs. Turkoglu/Lewis. I guess I could go on spouting statistics and predictions, but I am little irked today.
You see whenever the Lakers make it deep in the playoffs, fair weather fans come out of the woodwork to glom onto the party train. It starts innocent enough, a Laker flag here and a mention of Kobe there. Sure we can all take pride in in DJ Mbenga's disproportionately small head. And yes we can all bask in the glory of Kobe's farts. But it ain't all gravy. Being a complete dork of a fan, I watch all season and revel in both the good and the outright stinky.
Most bandwagoners fail to realize that a little over two years ago Kobe Bryant was determined to run Andrew Bynum out of town. Purple and Gold morale was at an untimely low. The Lakers looked more like the pack that ran with Del Harris then those that capped off a three peat of titles earlier in the decade. There were no tacos at the end of games. A sigh and sense of a relief were our only reward.
Then it all started to come together. That Bynum kid was alright. The Lakers got some momentum going and a playoff berth seemed inevitable. Then tragedy hit. You don't know what it feels like when your young center goes down twice, in the same month, in consecutive years, to the same team. You feel jinxed, You feel doomed.
Then like a spanish Jesus Pau came to save the day. The he ruined the party by getting dunked on frequently in the finals last year. Look, you haven't spent game after game yelling at Lamar Odom for being a no show, then applauding his immense talent, in the same game! Maybe you have witnessed Pau and his offensive prowess. But I know you bandwagoners look away when he diminishes on the defensive end. I do not. I take it all in; every basket, every tech, every 20 point blow out, every 20 point drubbing.
So please forgive me if become a little annoyed at the person on the street wearing a Laker shirt today when yesterday they didn't know when the Finals started. I'm not saying you have to wear purple everyday, just be able to name the last second-round draft pick to start a playoff game for the Lakers. That will do.
There they are folks. They range in intimidation factor from hardened criminal to IT administrative assistant. Let's have fun!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Weekend Tacos
A Saturday so filled with amazing sport is usually saved for late March. Though in May, tomorrow should give us ample opportunity to sit on the couch and not move for three or ten hours. So here are the top three tacos to watch Saturday, complete with which method of drink you should be pounding.
135th Kentucky Derby
The main race should be around 3PST. So my morning may consist of looking for ingredients for my mint julep and a very large hat. This may be a tight one as there are no clear cut favorites this time around. The early favorite is 'I want Revenge' who is now going off at 3-1. The most interesting horse is the colt 'Pioneer of the Nile.' He has the strength and longevity to finish but has only been a turf or synthetic surface horse until now. If he transitions to dirt well he may be near the top at the turn.
What to drink
Mint Julep There is something sophisticated yet down home about a mint julep. In fact its the only cocktail that you can sip while wearning boxers and no shirt and still be snooty about it.
The Game Seven to end all Game Sevens
Ever since Game six between the Boston Celtics and the Chicago Bulls occurred every sports pundit has touted this series as the greatest thing to happen since late night spaghetti bowls before bed. It has been a great series. But the fact remains that the winner will still lose to Cleveland eventually. However, because almost every game this series has been a close, hard hitting, controversy inducing match up, I will not miss seven. Well at least not the fourth quarter.
What to Drink
Because of the location, you have to go Sam Adams. By now you should have a euphoric feeling of malaise. It's ok tomorrow is Sunday and you have nothing to do.
Pacquiao v. Hatton
Last time I saw Pacquiao fighting he was beating up a poor old Mexican lady. No one seemed to care either. They just allowed the Phillipino pugilist to land blow after blow on the defenseless Oscar Dela Hoya. It was a scary sight but I couldn't divert my eyes. PacMan's complete beat down on Dela Hoya illustrated his veracity at pretty much any weight class. I would be ready to bet the farm on his ability to dismantle Hatton if it weren't for Floyd Mayweather Sr. and his dedication to defense. Hatton has always been a puncher that would come at you and worry about the repercussions later. Having a stiff chin and deft swing allows that. However, this fight is different. Pacquaio can fly around the ring and will most assuredly get his punches in. If Hatton learned to dodge this late in his career this may just be better than the beating of an old Mexican I saw last year.
What to Drink
San Miguel or Guinness - Then take a nap.
135th Kentucky Derby
The main race should be around 3PST. So my morning may consist of looking for ingredients for my mint julep and a very large hat. This may be a tight one as there are no clear cut favorites this time around. The early favorite is 'I want Revenge' who is now going off at 3-1. The most interesting horse is the colt 'Pioneer of the Nile.' He has the strength and longevity to finish but has only been a turf or synthetic surface horse until now. If he transitions to dirt well he may be near the top at the turn.
What to drink
Mint Julep There is something sophisticated yet down home about a mint julep. In fact its the only cocktail that you can sip while wearning boxers and no shirt and still be snooty about it.
The Game Seven to end all Game Sevens
Ever since Game six between the Boston Celtics and the Chicago Bulls occurred every sports pundit has touted this series as the greatest thing to happen since late night spaghetti bowls before bed. It has been a great series. But the fact remains that the winner will still lose to Cleveland eventually. However, because almost every game this series has been a close, hard hitting, controversy inducing match up, I will not miss seven. Well at least not the fourth quarter.
What to Drink
Because of the location, you have to go Sam Adams. By now you should have a euphoric feeling of malaise. It's ok tomorrow is Sunday and you have nothing to do.
Pacquiao v. Hatton
Last time I saw Pacquiao fighting he was beating up a poor old Mexican lady. No one seemed to care either. They just allowed the Phillipino pugilist to land blow after blow on the defenseless Oscar Dela Hoya. It was a scary sight but I couldn't divert my eyes. PacMan's complete beat down on Dela Hoya illustrated his veracity at pretty much any weight class. I would be ready to bet the farm on his ability to dismantle Hatton if it weren't for Floyd Mayweather Sr. and his dedication to defense. Hatton has always been a puncher that would come at you and worry about the repercussions later. Having a stiff chin and deft swing allows that. However, this fight is different. Pacquaio can fly around the ring and will most assuredly get his punches in. If Hatton learned to dodge this late in his career this may just be better than the beating of an old Mexican I saw last year.
What to Drink
San Miguel or Guinness - Then take a nap.
Friday, June 27, 2008
He Don't Need No Stinking Badges
“Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn't I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?” - Shaquille O'Neal
ESPN is reporting that Shaquille O'Neal will be forced to return another badge. This time to Bedford Virginia, yes they do not have an NBA team. However, I don't want to write about Shaq the player or even Shaq the individual. But since you asked, the individual is funny, the player is fat and lazy.
Shaq should have been THE greatest center of all time. Instead he has cashed it in year after year and relied on his mass and bulk down low. He was explosive and quick but could have been so much more. When it is all done he will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. But I have toi ask. How can a guy that good never lead the league in points, rebounds, or blocks in a season? I don't know. I told you I am not gonna write about it.
What I am really interested in is badges, nice shiny Sheriff ones. I myself once wanted to be a cop like my dad. But there was only one way to do it back in the day. You went to the academy, worked hard and graduated.
Now there is another way. It may seem a little more convoluted than the earlier method but this one has a little more moxie:
First get drafted to an NBA team. One that is fairly underwhelming at the time. Proceed to get the to the NBA Finals and lose. Now this next step is important.
ESPN is reporting that Shaquille O'Neal will be forced to return another badge. This time to Bedford Virginia, yes they do not have an NBA team. However, I don't want to write about Shaq the player or even Shaq the individual. But since you asked, the individual is funny, the player is fat and lazy.
Shaq should have been THE greatest center of all time. Instead he has cashed it in year after year and relied on his mass and bulk down low. He was explosive and quick but could have been so much more. When it is all done he will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame. But I have toi ask. How can a guy that good never lead the league in points, rebounds, or blocks in a season? I don't know. I told you I am not gonna write about it.
What I am really interested in is badges, nice shiny Sheriff ones. I myself once wanted to be a cop like my dad. But there was only one way to do it back in the day. You went to the academy, worked hard and graduated.
Now there is another way. It may seem a little more convoluted than the earlier method but this one has a little more moxie:
First get drafted to an NBA team. One that is fairly underwhelming at the time. Proceed to get the to the NBA Finals and lose. Now this next step is important.
Will the future Hall of Famer plesase step forward.
Not so fast Mr. Hardaway.
Leave that team. Get some fresh air. Make some movies. Record some albums. Now win championships on a new team, a couple, no three. Make sure to speak ill of your past teammate and co-star. Proceed to waive necessary surgery in the summer and save it for the start of the season. Be sure to come back more bloated for every new season. Now. Leave this team, demand it if you have to.
Still on my Netflix queue.
Go to a different team, somewhere similar to your last town but a little more humid and less culturally significant. Make sure to speak ill of your last city and your past teammates. Proceed to workout in the off season to win a title. A novel idea that could have been used in your past ventures, but never mind that now. It might be impressive if you get tired toward the end of this season and willingly pass the team off to a new up and comer. Win title.
Now get fat again.
Now demand a trade again.
Get traded to #1 team in Western Conference.
Help new team move steadily down the ladder of Western Conference. Lose in first round...repeat as necessary. As long as you follow these steps you will find your self with multiple Sheriff badges all over the greater United States.
One measuring stick of a great teammate is the lack of geographical movement in his career. Look at Favre, Tony Gwynn, Montana, etc. O'Neal has been traded and dealt a great deal for someone with his talent at such a valued position. Sure Kobe is egotistical and power hungry. The only thing I cared about is his work ethic. But Shaq gets a free pass. He always has.
In his Laker walk year, he dunked a ball in training camp ran up the floor and yelled for Jerry Buss to "pay me mother------."
The Lakers did pay him, at least they tried to. He rejected their offer to be the highest paid player and essentially painted Los Angeles into a corner.
So he left. Traded. Laker fans killed Kobe for it. Yet many in Los Angeles don't give Shaq the same scrutiny. He not only lambasted Kobe when leaving L.A. he threw the whole city and their fans under the bus. In relating to Los Angeles he stated "real, real fake. This (Miami) is a more real place." Yes Shaq, Miami has never been known as little Los Angeles. Things are much different there.
He has done this multiple times. Most recently ripping on Miami when traded to the Suns. In both cases his former employer sent him to warm weather and teams in contention giving him no reason to whine.
True, Shaq can make me laugh. The way he makes new monikers for himself is quite astounding. I just didn't think it was so unbelievable as to get him a free pass for so long. His latest transgression may have been blown a little out of proportion, but it is symptomatic of his career. Shaquille has never been the bigger man.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Boston Massacre
"It's humbling" - Lamar Odom
"It's a great run, we came up short" - Lamar Odom
"Are there any more chicken wings?" - Gabe Zaldivar
Now that I have had a few hours to digest the complete and utter Boston tea bagging we received, I am here to tell you what's next. Nothing. Bill Plashke and J.A. Adande seem to think moves must be taken to solidify our chance to win it all next year. That's a bit knee jerk, don't you think?
Last year we lost in the first round to the highly touted Phoenix Suns. With basically the same cast of characters, we made it to the sixth game of the NBA Finals. Please don't tell me we did so because of Pau Gasol. His dramatic exit from the series around game 1 has me thinking refund for the six pack of beer we got him for.
However, if you think the acquisition of Pau allowed for the real Lamar Odom to show up at the end of the season, imagine what Lamar et. al. can do with the presence of Andrew Bynum. Anything we can salvage from Bynum at this point is gravy. We went 6 games against a team housing three potential hall of famers and our solution is to jump ship. I find it hard to believe that Mitch Kupchak was stubborn enough to keep this team together when they were losing but will move vital parts after getting so close.
Can we recognize what a summer does for people. Jordan Farmar became a shooter, Sasha became a real scoring threat, and I gained more weight.
As for last night however...
Awful. It was a heightened illustration of what I knew all series. The Lakers were happy to be there. You could see it in the celebration after winning the western conference finals. They knew how good they were at the moment and what to celebrate. Boston was much more reserved after they took care of Detroit. They also happened to be much more poised throughout the series.
Except for Game 3, Boston was always the aggressor. They played like they were on the ropes. They played like they knew what was at stake. I just never felt the 07-08 Lakers deserved to win. But the 08-09 squad will be hungry.
How could they not be? The Celtics had an appetizer of celebration before the game was done. I don't know how big the bench area is but the there were kids and wives and still room for Pierce to disco dance. Then there was the Gatorade wash that necessitated Phil Jackson to call a time out. Granted classless, but the Lakers did not deserve to be treated with dignity last night. It was like the Celtics were sleeping with my grandmother and making me hive five them while doing it. I couldn't turn away. But I also couldn't stomach it either.
Here is to hoping the Lakers have the same bad taste in their mouths.
Tacos!
"It's a great run, we came up short" - Lamar Odom
"Are there any more chicken wings?" - Gabe Zaldivar
Now that I have had a few hours to digest the complete and utter Boston tea bagging we received, I am here to tell you what's next. Nothing. Bill Plashke and J.A. Adande seem to think moves must be taken to solidify our chance to win it all next year. That's a bit knee jerk, don't you think?
Last year we lost in the first round to the highly touted Phoenix Suns. With basically the same cast of characters, we made it to the sixth game of the NBA Finals. Please don't tell me we did so because of Pau Gasol. His dramatic exit from the series around game 1 has me thinking refund for the six pack of beer we got him for.
However, if you think the acquisition of Pau allowed for the real Lamar Odom to show up at the end of the season, imagine what Lamar et. al. can do with the presence of Andrew Bynum. Anything we can salvage from Bynum at this point is gravy. We went 6 games against a team housing three potential hall of famers and our solution is to jump ship. I find it hard to believe that Mitch Kupchak was stubborn enough to keep this team together when they were losing but will move vital parts after getting so close.
Can we recognize what a summer does for people. Jordan Farmar became a shooter, Sasha became a real scoring threat, and I gained more weight.
As for last night however...
Awful. It was a heightened illustration of what I knew all series. The Lakers were happy to be there. You could see it in the celebration after winning the western conference finals. They knew how good they were at the moment and what to celebrate. Boston was much more reserved after they took care of Detroit. They also happened to be much more poised throughout the series.
Except for Game 3, Boston was always the aggressor. They played like they were on the ropes. They played like they knew what was at stake. I just never felt the 07-08 Lakers deserved to win. But the 08-09 squad will be hungry.
How could they not be? The Celtics had an appetizer of celebration before the game was done. I don't know how big the bench area is but the there were kids and wives and still room for Pierce to disco dance. Then there was the Gatorade wash that necessitated Phil Jackson to call a time out. Granted classless, but the Lakers did not deserve to be treated with dignity last night. It was like the Celtics were sleeping with my grandmother and making me hive five them while doing it. I couldn't turn away. But I also couldn't stomach it either.
Here is to hoping the Lakers have the same bad taste in their mouths.
Tacos!
Game 6
It seems many in the media have seen fit to crown the Boston Celtics as champions. Just as Jack Kent Cooke filled the rafters with balloons and jinxed the Lakers out of a Finals berth in 1969, so too will certain Boston fans as they plan parade routes. Many have lost the fact that a game 6 will be played. No matter what, Tuesday night happens. This favors Los Angeles. A team that is playing to stay alive is dangerous.
Game 1
Neither team has played like champions thus far. Game 1 was a split for both teams, Los Angeles handled their end in the first half and Boston simply closed it out. Celtic fans also rejoiced the fact that Paul Pierce has some sort of regenerative powers not normally seen on this p
lanet. We can only thank god that Eight Belles' trainers weren't nearby to take action.
Game 1
Neither team has played like champions thus far. Game 1 was a split for both teams, Los Angeles handled their end in the first half and Boston simply closed it out. Celtic fans also rejoiced the fact that Paul Pierce has some sort of regenerative powers not normally seen on this p
lanet. We can only thank god that Eight Belles' trainers weren't nearby to take action.Here we have Mr. Pierce suffering what seems to be a combination of gunshot wounds and his water breaking. After being wheeled off in a wheelchair, a device used for people that cannot walk, he mended in the wolverine time of ten minutes. Unfathomably he is the best player so far and will undoubtedly receive the MVP award if Boston closes this out.
I'm not saying he is faking, I'm just saying I would like some of whatever they are shooting him up with...or he is faking.
Game 2
Well the Lakers almost overcame a 24 point deficit on the road. It would have been a magical night and the series would have been most likely over by now. I remember thinking that I would never see a come back like that for some time. Life is funny sometimes.
Game 3
L.A. gets on the board. It wasn't pretty or flashy or dominant. But it works.
Game 4
There has been some speculation as to whether game 4 actually occurred. I am in the school of thought that it could not have existed if you do not refer to it.
Game 5
Another sloppy win. Neither team seemed to really want this one. Bad fouls and porous defense on both ends turned this into a street game.
My main beef with the series is how ho-hum it all is. Does anyone feel this magical rivalry we were all promised? After both teams clinched I was lead to believe all would be right with world. Instead we get a series where players cannot pump their fists for worry of a technical. David Stern has done extremely well in making the NBA the blandest of the top American sports. Kobe can't clear out, KG can't argue, players can't jaw at each other. I feel for the little kids that think this is all exciting. I can still remember when the NBA was a contact sport.
To the referees tonight, swallow your whistles. Better yet, how about call a foul only when one occurs.
To ABC analysts and commentators, can you please get on the referees. Game 5 included KG getting his 4th foul for blocking a Laker player. The replay showed it was an obvious bad call but Jeff Van Gundy decided to thrash KG for making an ill advised play.
Yes we have now come to a state in this sport where a player is admonished for making a great defensive play when the official gets the call wrong and penalizes him for it. This would never happen in the NFL or MLB.
Lastly, I, like ABC, would love to see a game 7. It gives me an excuse to drink copious amounts of liquor during the week without it being a social problem.
Oh and Boston, It's "Beat LA" NOT "Gotta Beat LA." I know it has been a while since your team mattered, but get it right.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Playoffs!!!
So the 2007-2008 NBA season is in the books. The great thing about the NBA playoffs is that when they finish it's time to do my Christmas shopping. These things are long. It's as if the NBA wants us to lose interest. A Suns-Lakers, Kobe V. Shaq, matchup would be great. If it happens it will not be for another month or so. If the finals go a full seven games these playoffs will last a full two months.
The first round starts on April 19th. If any of these go a full seven they will last till May 3rd-4th. Yes that is indeed two fucking weeks. Who is serious here? I will tell you who is serious, the NBA. They will drag out this playoff thing as long as they need to. Please take a look at the first round and join me in a genuine WTF moment. Yes most series will play their second game Monday or Tuesday and then skip 2-3 days and play on Thursday or Friday. In the case of the Lakers/Nuggets, they play game one Sunday...DO NOT TRAVEL...then play three days later on Wednesday.
The NFL plays one game a week and still manages to get to their Finals in a little over
a month. Major League Baseball gets to the series in three weeks after the end of the season. And hockey, well hockey is really only celebrated by Canadians and this guy. So we will just skip them.
My main problem is that the NBA game could be so good. Perhaps if the refs swallowed their whistles, the players were slightly less bitchy, flops were non-existent, and they played maybe two games in three days. Shit did I just describe the NCAA tournament?
I know my pleas will go unheeded as my readership consists of my mom and some guy who was actually looking for asian chicks on the web and came across this fiasco. Well I will watch anyway, but I will not be happy about it. I'll see you on the other side of the playoffs. We will all be a little older, a little wiser, and very glad it is all over.
The first round starts on April 19th. If any of these go a full seven they will last till May 3rd-4th. Yes that is indeed two fucking weeks. Who is serious here? I will tell you who is serious, the NBA. They will drag out this playoff thing as long as they need to. Please take a look at the first round and join me in a genuine WTF moment. Yes most series will play their second game Monday or Tuesday and then skip 2-3 days and play on Thursday or Friday. In the case of the Lakers/Nuggets, they play game one Sunday...DO NOT TRAVEL...then play three days later on Wednesday.
The NFL plays one game a week and still manages to get to their Finals in a little over
a month. Major League Baseball gets to the series in three weeks after the end of the season. And hockey, well hockey is really only celebrated by Canadians and this guy. So we will just skip them.My main problem is that the NBA game could be so good. Perhaps if the refs swallowed their whistles, the players were slightly less bitchy, flops were non-existent, and they played maybe two games in three days. Shit did I just describe the NCAA tournament?
I know my pleas will go unheeded as my readership consists of my mom and some guy who was actually looking for asian chicks on the web and came across this fiasco. Well I will watch anyway, but I will not be happy about it. I'll see you on the other side of the playoffs. We will all be a little older, a little wiser, and very glad it is all over.
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